Unleashing & Receiving Criticism

I’ve received an almost unreasonable amount of criticism lately – from various directions and about a large number of things.

Singers and various types of creative people can be extremely sensitive souls, and harsh criticism can be tough for them.

It’s so easy to critique and find fault.

People can offer huge judgments and criticisms with absolutely no idea about what it took for the one they are criticising to arrive at that place.

When there’s a lot of criticism coming in at once, it can feel like waving the white flag and giving up altogether is the best and most welcome option.

It’s not, though!

Once we realise deeply that everything is happening FOR us not TO us, we have the opportunity to STOP, BREATHE and CONSIDER – ”How am I receiving this? This is happening FOR me for my own growth and expansion.”

You might be dealing with one of those people who seems impossible to please. You do ninety-nine great things, yet they want to find one thing and pinpoint that. I used to be like that towards myself when I was young, and thank God that has long gone. Yet many still live that way towards themselves and others.

Consider your defence mechanisms. Do you instantly go on the defence when criticism arises? Make excuses? Blame?

Or do you hear the person out and take the relevant parts on board – no matter how they are delivered or how uncomfortable it might feel?

When people become defensive, they are trying to protect themselves from being uncomfortable or viewing themselves in a negative light. Or worse, as a perceived “failure.”

“How dare you say I messed up!”

This statement rises up in people who have a hard time with criticism. When emotions take over, intelligence drops, and you may not achieve the result in the exchange that you truly desire.

Understand too, that criticism may or may not be valid.

Almost every musician on a live gig has simultaneously received a complaint, “You’re far too loud.” and the very next audience member says, “We can’t hear you.”

Some will love what you wear, sing, say…some won’t, and on and on.

It’s important to take on board what resonates and not feel crushed by opinions that aren’t going to help you move forward.

Don’t forget that most criticism is about something external and not YOU and your self-worth.

Your self worth is not up for debate. You’re infinitely worthy regardless of what you do or don’t do.

We can feel personally attacked with criticism, and unfortunately, some people DO have destruction as an agenda.

They actually do want to hurt and destroy. That’s an entirely separate issue.

The issue of true feedback and criticism can be brilliant if delivered and received with grace and empathy. You get the chance to see things from an entirely different perspective.

It’s also good to know that you can give or receive helpful comments freely, knowing that you or the receiver will not crumble, make excuses, or blame.

It takes humility and trust to arrive at that place.

Be grateful for criticism. Even if you throw 80% out of the window, the remaining 20% could change your life!

Be grateful for people who tell you straight with love, with no sugar coating or false patting of the shoulder.

My supervisor for my Masters was absolutely wonderful. She was blunt occasionally. “The whole opening line is weak. Rewrite.”

I LOVED it. I didn’t need fluff. I embraced it all, and at times she would pour in lots of positive affirming things too.

I have had friends read some of her feedback thinking it was rude. I saw it as efficient and clear! That’s possibly because I knew that she was invested and aiming for a great result – which was achieved!

In the YOU HAVE A VOICE ACADEMY we have an awesome challenge, and that is to not criticise, condemn, or complain.

When you feel like doing any of those things, find something to be grateful for.

You might be shocked at how quickly and easily you offer criticism before you offer gratitude.

A lot of criticism isn’t necessary.

Humans thrive much more with grace, love, and inspiration.

If you DO need to bring criticism to someone, do it with love. Speaking the truth in love will have a much higher chance of being received. Criticism that is not delivered in love is just noise, and will possibly bring hurt, even if it’s true.

If you’d like to know more about the phenomenal, YOU HAVE A VOICE ACADEMY please contact me. It’s a game-changer in sooooo many incredible ways!

Also, don’t forget BALI in January 2020 for the YOU HAVE A VOICE SUMMIT! I’d love YOU to come!

We had an amazing show at Sydney’s Premier Jazz Club – Foundry 616, where international singer Merryn Holder flew down from Brisbane for an amazing sold-out night.

Glorious audience, excellent band, and fantastic music! We were so thankful to everyone who helped make it a great time!

Manly Jazz Festival is freeeeee!
I’m singing with the Rodric White septet at 1:30pm – 2:30pm on Sunday 6th October and I’d love to see you there for the Billie Holiday show.

I have been singing at Parliament House for around seven or eight years and it was an honour to be back there last week singing for the State leaders.